I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize