I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
