I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think I am morally bankrupt
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
