I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I am available for nakedness
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