All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
