so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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