We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
