There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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