Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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