i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
