Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize