Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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