I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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