I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
