i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
