I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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