He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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