so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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