You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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