If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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