Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You ate ashes out of my bong
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
