thus making me awesome and them whores
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
