that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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