i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
