i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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