She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
we're so committed to being not committed
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
