that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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