SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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