I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
