I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
