Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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