I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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