My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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