At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
