I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
