they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
3 2 1 whiskey
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
