just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
