I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
