u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
third nipple confirmed
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
