marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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