oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize