I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
