Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the day after is always just damage control
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
