I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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