Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
