i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize