whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
