Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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