I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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