READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
