What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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