Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
