The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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