hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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