I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
