When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my poor anus
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
