Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
