Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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