I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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