Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
