ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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