i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
