I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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